Mahogany Vida's Community Connection

The Reflection of Life

De Vida Bell — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:50:00 GMT

"There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. The magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first... When you learn to live for others, they will live for you."
- Paramahansa Yogananda

There's an old saying that says that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Some will come and go, others will stay for awhile, and then there are those who will be there till the bitter end. We may not always know, at first, which one a person may be categorized in as only time will tell. If you never heard the extended version, it's worth a read.

After you internalize and process this concept, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect why others are part of your life and why and/or how you are part of theirs. It may be to learn patience and understanding, guide you towards your life's purpose, offer forethought and clarity, show you the blessings of love and faith, or help you to discover the hidden you.

Take heed and enjoy the journey.

Taking "The Personal" Out Of The Equation

De Vida Bell — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:57:00 GMT

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time."
- Anna Freud

Regardless of what you do for a living, the type of position you hold, how many degrees you've earned or what school you attended, we all unequivocally fall prey to criticism be it constructive or otherwise. We hear others views and comments regarding how we should behave, act and/or look and because of our own insecurities, the tone and/or how the views are presented we tend to internalize the words taking the criticism harshly and personally. The ability to see them as constructive feedback or as a professional analysis is minimal.

Life is surrounded by the lesser of two evils, others peoples views. Take time to internalize who you are personally and professionally, what you bring to the table as an individual and as part of a unit (team member or family) and analyze what you feel you can improve upon. Once you are able to identify your own shortcomings, be open to self- improvement and give yourself the opportunity to be hear new ideas, and know that you also have the choice to agree or disagree with others opinions.

Define it: Quality vs Quanity?

De Vida Bell — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 20:14:00 GMT

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

What kind of time are you spending? Quantity or Quality?

We all share a common interest of life transitions, gatherings amongst friends and family, networking amongst colleagues, joint ventures and/or individual excursions but what does it all mean? If the event or circumstance is bound by living in the moment, active participation and being part of the process than quality time is what is defined. If, on the other hand, you are physically present at the events, meetings and/or activities yet your mind is shifting to previous unrelated moments in time, your body is present but your spirit is floating elsewhere. quantity is where you stand.

We tend to think if we come home from work and are in the same room with our loved ones but are wrapped up in a television show, checking emails or on the telephone that we are attentive and spending quality time. A good deciding factor is if someone asks you a question and you either don't hear them, walk into another room removing yourself from being disturbed or get easily frustrated at the mere sound of their voice. If this describes you, you may not be living in the moment. Your physical being is present but your mind and spirit are elsewhere. If this is so, take time out to do a shift of your mindset.

Quality is more important than quantity. It's the quality that others will remember - precious moments, memories and life events.

Quantity is ineffective (changes like the wind ) and may soon be forgot, if quality is not paired along with it.

Reflection in Choices

De Vida Bell — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:55:00 GMT

"Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can."
- Willis Whitney

The end of Thanksgiving is winding down yet the gift of giving is still in the air. Although this can be a stressful time for some and an elated time for others, reflecting on our own choices, circumstances and situations is worth analyzing. It's amazing how many people shop during black friday yet complain and agonize over having no time and no money.

Consciously or unconsciously we make time to do the things we want to do and spend money on the things we want to possess. The recession may affect our pockets but doesn't have to affect our time with family and friends. In the November issue of [Lifestyle 'N Motion] five examples were given of how to rejoice in the spirit of giving during this holiday season. If life is about choices, and we choose to spend our time shopping with money we don't have, for things we don't need, for the people we have no vested interest in, then what's the point.

Make a choice to shift your mindset to: create a homemade gift (memory keepsake or photo album) vs spending money that will lead you greater in debt; create something personal from your heart that will more than likely be cherished and kept (i.e. a hand written card or letter) vs something the person may not use for months to come; and spend quality time with family & friends (people you genuinely care about) that you want to continue having many more memories with.

Analyze the choices you've made, the lifestyle you lead, and be open (if needed) to shifting your mindset for a more positive, fulfilling YOU during this holiday season.

Need help: get your FREE subscription of [Lifestyle 'N Motion] for tips on balancing YOU! Also, watch out for the upcoming book or CD on 3 Steps to Recharge YOU! Details in the [Lifestyle 'N Motion] Ezine. Subscribe now by clicking on the link on the right or by logging onto https://www.mahoganyvida.com/ .

The Path To Communication

De Vida Bell — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:26:00 GMT

"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand."
- Confucius

These days there are numerous ways to communicate with others but face to face is still preferable to the internet and text messaging. Although face to face communication has somehow lost its fizz there should be a revitalization of this method of communication. In the workforce, previously, the norm was business luncheons with healthy comprise and debate but now it's teleconferencing either at work or from home. Physical dating and social gatherings to the movies and dinner have been replaced by cyberdating and web cams, and quality time spent with loved ones have been replaced by social networking sites.

The cycle of life will continue to be in existence but maintaining the importance of face to face contact doesn't need to be a distant memory in the wake of the latest and greatest technological advances. Instead it can comprehensively join all communication forms under one roof. We can utilize each form if we make a conscious effort to write, speak, text and call each other as a mode of effective and efficient communication in our lives.

Parent to Child

De Vida Bell — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:44:00 GMT

"There are three things a child can teach an adult: To be happy for no reason; To be always busy doing something; And to know how to demand - with all one's might - what one wants."
- Paulo Coelho

As a parent, one of the hardest things in life is to let your children learn life's lessons on their own. But, it's a miracle and blessing to watch them grow up to be such wonderful, vivacious human beings. Observing their unique mannerisms, hearing their independent opinions and watching them at play is priceless. We pray that they take heed to all the values and morales we've instilled in them as they embark on their own journey and experiences, making the right decisions, and knowing that in the end you will be there to love and guide them. We can't fight their battles but can be there should they fall, to nurture and help them find their way once again.

It's a known fact that parenting isn't easy and many times we learn through trial and error. There is no magic wand, special potion or snap of the fingers that can enable us to be "perfect" parents or give us "perfect" children. The reality is, we do the best we can and hope in the end our best is good enough. If not, be open to seek alternative resources to help and guide you.

Continue to praise, respect, laugh and cry with them, teach and mentor them, and love them unconditionally. Parenting is a privilege, not a right - so enjoy each and every precious moment as they don't stay little forever.

Peace Within Your Schedule

De Vida Bell — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:15:00 GMT

"You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you."
- James Lane Allen

Life is consumed with activities, responsibilities and a variety of mixed roles and emotions. It's easy to get swept away in the "busy" schedule feeling as though you don't have a moment to breathe and catch your breath. Sometimes the only way to sanity and finding inner peace is to stop what you're doing and breathe - exhale. It is so important to find your inner peace, the center of who you really are and your defining inner beauty.

For me, I find it through music and dance enabling me to release all inhibitions, worries and stresses of the world by letting them trickle off my fingertips if only for a moment. For you, your sanctuary may be golf, cooking, tennis, gardening, writing or running.

Define what it is that you can do to find peace, tranquilly and the inner you. Embrace your inner thoughts and emotions and revive in the energy lost through your "active" lifestyle.

Safety Plan 101

De Vida Bell — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:38:00 GMT

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; They're supposed to help you discover who you are."
- Bernice Johnson Reagon

I heard it once said that, "in life there are no guarantees" and "there is safety in numbers." No matter how true these statements may be, most of us depend on others for protection yet it's "others" as well as "ourselves" that we need protection from.

We, as individuals tend to be our worst enemies. We find ourselves subjected, at times, to having our safety net disturbed or destroyed where fear, anger, confusion, victimization, abuse, and/or loss of control are reveling in an uncomfortable zone that resides below the radar for others to see but above the divider internally causing grief and pain asking questions beyond the identity of "why?"

Where our "net" is ripped tends to be the same core from where strength within is built and it is there where solace and forgiveness of others as well as oneself is found.

Allow yourself to confront your fear whether it's a person, place or thing to regain your sense of control and rebuild your security blanket and personal identity. Be more consciously aware and observe your surroundings and personal inconsistencies. Find strength in past accomplishments, peace in remembering those you've helped and purpose in what gift(s) you personally bring to the world around you.

If you're stumbling and unable to see beyond your situation, take a moment and make a list or ask others you "trust" to assist you. Make your own safety plan and take control - guide your own insecurities before they guide and control you.

Love Defined

De Vida Bell — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:28:00 GMT

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."
- Orson Welles

There are so many four letter words in the English language but the greatest of those is Love. Love is unconditional, endless and the most precious of gifts. Some tend to use this word aimlessly without emotion or forethought while others embrace the wonders behind the one syllable word with the big meaning.

To love is to gain strength, belief not only in someone else but one's self as well. Being true to yourself is the beginning of defining who you are. Knowing yourself offers the opportunities for growth and development. Love at times could be blind, awkward, scary and exciting yet the true feeling underneath the surface is indescribable.

Don't dodge it but embrace it. Allow yourself to experience the feeling even if you have difficulty understanding it. Sometimes the unknown is just that - Unknown, but it doesn't need to be a bad thing. Eliminate the question of "why" and exchange it with the words, "why not."

Planting The Seed of Service

De Vida Bell — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:00:00 GMT

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world, are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them."
- George Bernard Shaw

A child is as delicate as a flower and with love and attention he/she can bloom into a beautiful, charismatic adult. It is without this nurturance that things can go awry.

Recently I had the rare opportunity to watch my cousin play professional football. Who would have guessed a women's pro ball team. Unfortunately, unlike the WMBA, this particular sport like some children have yet to be given recognition. And although the silence of this particular sport for women is still a factor, the heart of the players on the team beat in harmony and in unison because the passion of the game automatically seeps through their pores as it does with the life of a child on a playground.

Who is to say what is appropriate when it comes to talent, passion and the adrenaline to succeed and be part of something bigger than themself. From politics to sports, to education and entertainment, anyone has the power to "succeed" and grow if they have the willpower, drive, support, resources and endurance.

As you find yourself not understanding a particular choice, situation, talent and/or interest - attend an event, a game or talk to the key participants to gain the knowledge, experience and energy behind it. As you seek information, respect the diversity, passion and character behind the person. As you acknowledge the differences and uniqueness of others, support their efforts to develop and grow to levels beyond their wildest dreams (eg. the first man on the moon, the first woman physician).

Some opportunities come along once in a lifetime but if we plant the seeds for others as well as that of ourselves, there is know telling what we as a people can accomplish for generations to come. As we continue to cross through the lines of color and gender, we add an element of transition and transformation behind not only how we see others but how we see ourselves while breaking the barriers between children and adults.

Whose In Your Network

De Vida Bell — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 02:30:00 GMT

" It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."
- Robert H. Goddard

Most of us have been in a situation where we find ourselves divided and stuck. We have things we need to do but not enough time to do it in leading to our inability to accomplish the smallest of tasks because we somehow fall short in the categories of time, money and/or knowledge. We tend to forget we have a network of people we come into contact with daily that can and are willing to assist us.

One solution is to identify, discover and utilize your personal "network" or "resources." Many of us equip ourselves with the willpower to excel, follow a specific customized path but in the interim get sidetracked or detoured by the unforeseeable, unknown and/or natural circumstances awaiting around the corner (e.g. a flat tire, a promotion, a late meeting, etc.) resulting in procrastination, frustration, anxiety, and chaos altering your destined road map.

It's important to determine what it is that you want, desire or need and then derive a list based on those thoughts. Next, make a list of your friends, family and acquaintances including their positive qualities. Once this is completed, play the matching game by matching your need or desire with things that they may be able to assist you with.

For example:
Your Need:
For someone to pick your child up from school due to an emergency mandatory meeting at work or accident on the freeway.

Your Resource (positive quality):
1 - A neighbor who happens to be a stay at home parent or who works from home (positive adult role model).
2 - Child's teacher (willing to offer extra tutoring after school until you arrive)
3 - Child's classmate (classmate's parents willing to take your child home until you arrive enabling supervised playtime after school)

We all have more "resources" than we realize with a network of people that tend to be underutilized due to our personal feelings of not wanting to burden someone else or that feeling of being uncomfortable asking someone for assistance. Using our personal "resources" and "network" can be a blessing in disguise for the "busy" individual. The problem is not the situation but not planning accordingly for a potential problematic situation before it arises.

Choose To Be Driven

De Vida Bell — Fri, 22 May 2009 03:27:00 GMT

"When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you."
- Tin Cup

It's interesting how many excuses we choose to make about what we cannot do due to time constraints or affordability yet even those "busy" allot time for the inconceivable. Take for example a parent who is an attorney by day and a professional athlete by night. The person has a family, multiple roles and a slue of responsibilities.

We all have the choice to follow our passion enabling excitement, drive and energy to move us beyond or "traditional" limits. We choose our own destiny by our daily actions, words and deeds. We choose what we believe, hear and see. We choose our own path of greatness and define what that greatness is within our own skin.

We all have the power to choose but many choose excuses. As you define your own life's purpose, stop and ask your self, what do you choose? What excuses do you make? And, what are you driven by?

Family Ties

De Vida Bell — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 03:14:00 GMT

"Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others."
- William Arthur Ward

The traditional connotation of the family as father, mother, brother and sister has diversified itself overtime to include that of foster, adoptive, blended, same gender and families made up of pets, networks of friends, groups and/or affiliates. Who is to say what makes up "your" current family unit? A family is defined not only by what you see but what you feel in your heart.

The unconditional love that equates itself is matched by the opportunity to make mistakes and love you in spite of yourself. To accept each others differences and support each others strengths is an entity beyond compare and devises itself as unmeasurable by any standards. To live in each others proximity is quarantined as an added bonus but to live afar is to appreciate the quality vs quantity of time spent together.

Revel in your indecisions, uniqueness and individuality - for each dysfunction manifests into your thoughts, behaviors, values and character - personal or professional, right or wrong - it's the family ties that bind, strengthen and keep us together.

'Attitude By Design

De Vida Bell — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:51:00 GMT

"You can change your world by changing your words... remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue."
- Joel Osteen

Imagine you're at a dead end job that you use to love. The job has lost its fizzle and the fire you once had for that particular position has died out. You're working harder than ever before for less money and acknowledgment and appreciation are nothing but a silent memory. All that's left to date are the monthly status reports, acquisitions, and productivity scales you quiver to think about. It's now just another deadline. Staff meetings linger as your input is no longer warranted and/or you have no desire to respond or add to the logistically drawn out conversations.

Deciphering through the monotony of life, you stop and question your life's purpose in the company as well as the unethical conduct of some upper management. Your values are no longer in alignment with that of your employer yet you produce and show up day in and day out to fulfill your duties as assigned, hoping and wishing for a change or opportunity to come your way.

Now, lets pause for a moment - Exhale - What is it that's keeping you on this rigid path of self destruction, hopelessness, and feeling of being inadequate and incomplete? Is the financial security blanket more important than that your character?

Sometimes we go through life's transitions only to have a breakthrough. We go through life without necessarily living life. We loose site of our desire and passion to make a difference, have an impact, use our creativity and talents the way we envisioned. We tend to follow the road most traveled for comfort and security vs leading by our heart and follow the less traveled for opportunity because we fear the unknown. We settle for the less menial tasks vs taking a stand for our own beliefs and values.

Analyze within to identify the when, where, why and how the flare was lost in your current position. Go back to the basics and identify your strengths (personality characteristics, physical traits, accomplishments you're most proud of), rekindle your dreams by making a detailed dreams list (use your 5 senses for assistance), benchmark your goals (goals without deadline are just ideas), find your passion (interests, talents, hobbies) and capture your vision (how do you want to be remembered).

It's not so much about needing to change your means of employment or career but change your attitude toward it. Give yourself a mind shift to be proactive in your life. If you can't change the situation then change your attitude. Ask yourself, what can you learn or gain from this experience to either move forward or to take with you as you embark on the next stepping stone and chapter in your life.

Who's The Alpha Dog Now?

De Vida Bell — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 01:51:00 GMT

"The most self-destructive thought that any person can have is thinking that he or she is not in total control of his or her life. That's when, 'Why me?,' becomes a theme song."
- Roger Dawson

As we look at the many facets of success, one characteristic that tends to falter is that of patience. Many times we assume we have everything under control and that we are in complete harmony between our mind, body and spirit but somehow, someway, in the midst of an obstacle or an unplanned incident the patience in our tool belt tends to fall short and slip under that "well monitored" radar.

The attitude then rises where retaliation is a thought not to far off the beaten path. Maybe I'll just speed up a little and cut him off, stare him down, yell and scream obscenities through the closed glass windows of both cars on the moving freeway - as if that juncture would do an inkling of damage to your raging change of events.

You want to learn patience? Get a puppy. I continue to allow it to work for me. Ever since my daughter brought home this twelve week old, my nerves have never been the same. Someone cutting me off, that's easy street. Try coming home from a busy day to smeared feces on your white carpet and a teething, jumping, speedy Gonzalez, Olympian Miniature Pincher/Chihuahua Mix gnawing at the legs of your mahogany pool table, with a trail of brand new unidentifiable clothes you just bought behind her. Your life takes on a brand new meaning beyond your chaotic schedule of work, home, and transporter for the kids. Now it's protector of the home from a four legged alpha dog who is determined to stake her territory and all the contents in it.

Not only will your patience be challenged but add the hectic schedule, sleep deprivation, and more balance to the already award winning lifestyle you have. Even in an incident such as this you can overcome. Within this incident all of my life areas were affected, so it took additional analyzing and coordinating to find the balance that I was comfortable with. The balance included my life areas of: relationships, spirituality, emotional well-being, safety, work, education, service to others, etc..

You always have a choice! You can be negative and allow your circumstance to determine your attitude or you can flip it to the positive and allow your situation to be your strength creating just another ordinary "character building day." Make a choice - prepare, plan and take action. Keep your patience at the forefront.

Helpful Tips:

Soothing Music
Deep Breathing Exercises
Visualization Exercises
(and for me) Gummy Bears and a Jamba Juice

What's The Price Of Your Hat?

De Vida Bell — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:10:00 GMT

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."
- Mark Victor Hansen

It's interesting when you stop and think how many hats we actually wear in our daily lives. For me it's: mother, wife, daughter, sister, advocate, speaker, mentor, life coach, therapist, friend, author, employee, entrepreneur ... and the list goes on and on and on. Each one of our individual lists can continue like a child's gift list during the holiday season but it doesn't have to be as exhausting - the multitude of hats can be interchangeable at any given time, delegating assignments and action items to another for the purpose of respite to exhale and collaboration to spread the tasks evenly, yet it's up to us to separate and give each one it's undue attention.

Balancing can be a difficult task to master, I agree, but it's not inconceivable to achieve. It's a matter of breaking each task down into incremental parts and finding the rights of passage by disseminating the goal, need, strategy and plan of action. The question lies not only in the efficiency but in the effectiveness of each individual task and justifiably so. Ranking them by priority in accordance with its importance, to you, and its particular situation and/or moment in time is definitely worth doing.

Remember, outcome is said to be ten percent of the situation and ninety percent of your reaction to it. Be proactive and plan accordingly. You can't be all things, to all people, all the time. All you can do is what you can and then allow yourself a moment to regroup before moving forward.

Healing From The Inside Out

De Vida Bell — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:28:00 GMT

"Eliminate the time between the idea and the act."
- Dr. Edward Kramer

With the economic crisis on the rise it's no wonder why families and communities are feeling the massive weight of uncertainty - literally. Jobs, homes and automobiles are being lost in the shuffle of life but at the same time those who have lost are taking a stand and fighting back. They are choosing not to let life's circumstance take heed but rather are finding healing through servicing others.

Youth and adults are taking to the streets during this time of crisis and creating opportunities and resources for the disadvantaged, underserved and ailing. They are creating support groups, programs, co-ops, community food banks, block dinners and forums to heal. It's not about the have's vs the have not's but about communities uniting together to serve the common good and those in need.

Sometimes it takes helping others to heal ourselves.. it feels good when we can take the focus off of us to care for another unconditionally without positive regard. Many feel that by helping others automatically we help ourselves in the process.

It could be as simple as offering a ride to someone on a rainy day who would normally walk or take public transportation, offering to walk someone's dog, walking someone to their car, inviting a friend to lunch or just a friendly smile at a stranger. You'll never know how that small act of kindness can affect and/or uplift someone and their circumstance - it could possibly save their life.

A Hiccup and a Makeover

De Vida Bell — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 02:45:00 GMT

"So many fail because they don't get started - they don't go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin."
- W. Clement Stone

So it's the end of the year again and like clock work, it's that time when many of us take a few moments to appreciate our blessings, wallow in our self-pity or review our accomplishments for the year... what worked, what didn't and where we would like to make adjustments. Some of us thumb through the "don't leave home without it" day planner, others the personal journal laying bedside, some our thoughts and memories and others, like myself, the good ole' VBS Benchmark Recorder.

Whether you're starting out on a new foot - be it the new year, tired of the hustle and bustle of life, not enough hours in the day, under exercised, procrastination, or just because ... I like to recommend beginning by identifying what worked (your strengths). Give yourself Kudos! You deserve it. Write them down if you haven't done so already and place them somewhere where you can visualize them daily (e.g. bulletin board, bathroom mirror, wallet). If you need help, ask someone whose opinion you value to assist you.

Next, turn on some music and clear off your work space. Throw away things you haven't used, won't use or can't identify. If you haven't used it by now, you probably won't in the future. This also includes rooms, closets and drawers... things you haven't seen, worn or are out of date (e.g. Member's Only Jackets). This tends to be a difficult task for most of us, yearning to keep those childhood memories alive. With me it was those ole' Bongo Jeans I've had since high school that I prayed I would one day fit into again, even after 20+ years. Although time repeats itself (i.e. the hustle vs. electric slide) some trends come back in style like those emphasis bell bottom jeans. Here's a clue, just because you had them, wore them, or continue to be in your possession doesn't mean you need to keep them "just in case" they ever did come back in style. I know it's hard but some things you just need to toss.

Lastly, write down what you would like to accomplish for the upcoming month or year no matter how upsurd you think you may sound. Use it as your driving force, your motivation to go beyond what you did last year, last month, or even last week. Begin scheduling daily stepping stones to reach your desired goal.

Team Building

De Vida Bell — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 02:22:00 GMT

"Our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves - to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterdays by our today; to do the little parts of our work with more force than ever before."
- Stewart Johnson

When most people think of team building they often identify it with work, a staff retreat, time off, fun activities with colleagues or a bottomless pit. But what appears to be missing, in most cases is the connection and teaching vs the brainstorming and motivation. To accomplish an effective team building training, I recommend incorporating an understanding of the universal connection, the attendees commitment level to each other and their identified agency, passion identification and their positioning on the team. Once identified, learning each others positions, strengths, and styles and how to use them both effectively and efficiently will assist with the seamless transition toward success in the workplace.

3 HOT TIPS:

Be creative and interactive;
Make it educational, informative and fun;
Use exercises that everyone can participate in (e.g. have each attendee say something positive about each of their colleagues attending the training).

Bridging The Generation Gap Between Youth And Adults

De Vida Bell — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:16:00 GMT

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
- Winston Churchill

For years I have been asked the question: How can you work with "that population?" And my answer is usually "what population?"

How really different are youth from adults? Ever since we reached that milestone of independence, it appears the word youth or young adult tends to become a word of the past, a taboo, or something of foreign content. But I question you, is it?

Lets flip the script for a moment:

How were you during your pre-teen to college years?
What were your views on adults and/or peers?
What personal events took place that changed your perception of others?
How did adults and peers interact with you?
Did you run with the crowd or were you a loner?

So many times, we as adults, run into the same exchange with "drama" whether we're at work, school, home or in the community but we tend to view our life circumstances different than that of our youth. Why is that? Let's take into consideration we were never young but had manifested ourselves from the womb to adulthood bypassing all childhood experiences and memories. Lets look at the verbiage for a moment.

Youth Language Adult Language

"you don't get it"		misunderstood
broke		poor
homeless		displaced
sad		depressed
unwanted		low self-esteem
failing		retained

So as you can see, we (youth and adults) are saying the same thing but maybe it's the language that's different.

Let's take it a step further. Think back on a personal experience you may have had or are currently in. It may be the loss of a job, inability to take a test, multiple relationships, speeding, unable to pay bills, loss of a loved one, treated unfairly, insecurity, trust issues, arriving to a destination late (school/work), stopping somewhere on the way home unexpectedly without calling a loved one, inability to balance life, etc...

I think all of us can relate in some form or fashion to one of these issues. So maybe youth and adults are not so different after all. Maybe we as adults (parents, teachers, caregivers, social service providers, coaches, mentors, etc) need to open our eyes and mind to acknowledge our similarities while respecting our differences. Remember, our youth are our future.